FREE to be Me ...
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Be awake
As I return home from the vacation of a lifetime, I think to myself - Am I grateful?
To me, gratitude always sounds like something somebody else thinks you should have, as in “You should be grateful for all I’ve done for you.” It kind of takes the character out of it and puts it on my to-do list. As in "You need to be grateful" or "Don't forget to be grateful"... etc.
As I look around me I see a lot of people with a lot of stuff. Lavish amounts of everything they need – spacious homes, an innumerable variety of foods at their fingertips , outfits from gardening grubbies to night-on-the-town finery, assorted sports equipment, specialty appliances, art work, a PC in every room, and on and on. And still we generally go along, at best complacent, at worst complaining about this state of affairs, generally more aware of what we want next than appreciative of our astonishing plenty.
And I don’t mean to write a negatively about this, to suggest that we’re all ungrateful wretches and what about the starving children in [favorite Third World country]? I don’t want to advocate a step-by-step scheme you need in order to acquire Gratitude or embarrass you into grudging acknowledgment of how good you have it. The human tendency to focus on what’s “wrong” and ignore what’s just fine is as common and as natural as saying “Ouch!” when we skin our knees. Our programming points our attention at what threatens our survival, not at how beautiful it is to live. So usually it takes a real shaking up to awaken us to a different perspective. And even that change is often fleeting.
Still, it seems a shame to have all that we have and to be, in effect, missing it. And, in fact, being grateful is not a great chore - It’s greatly cheering to spend a few moments appreciating the small delights that life delivers.
I love the way my husband looks as he leaves for work in the morning; his manner and countenance.
I love to find my favorite old T-shirt clean and folded in the drawer so I can decide to wear it again.
I love the the smell of baking on my hands after kneading bread dough and creating a sugar and spice mixture for Cinammon Rolls.
I love the one long deep breath I take after a prayer.
I love uncontrollable, tight tummy, tears rolling down my face, laughter!
These moments of heart-opening don’t arise from deciding I should be Grateful. I do not recommend that you practice being Grateful. Instead I wish to whisper in your ear an admonition to be, simply, awake. Because when you’re awake to the smells, the touches, the current moment, gratitude happens by itself. It’s the rushing by that leaves us without gratitude.
I wish I could remember where I heard this quote and who said it: “The single greatest enemy to spiritual practice is hurrying.” On my recent trip, I found that the fullest days of sight-seeing were so busy that I never really experienced any of it. Those places off the beaten path where we chose to stay awhile are the ones that reached my core - My spirit. Gratitude happens when we’re here, now. Hurrying is what happens when we’re mentally already somewhere else, doing the next thing (or three things). When we hurry, when we’re feeling pressured and cranky, our focus telescopes into our own tiny brain space. We miss everything around us altogether and become preoccupied by our actions.
On the other hand, when we allow ourselves to be fully here in the present moment, awake to the blinking of eyelashes or the soap suds in the dishwater, gratitude takes care of itself. It’s all mixed up there with delight, awe, and joy. Easy. Fun. No Program required.
So attend, please. This second. Be here.
Gratitude cannot help but follow.
To me, gratitude always sounds like something somebody else thinks you should have, as in “You should be grateful for all I’ve done for you.” It kind of takes the character out of it and puts it on my to-do list. As in "You need to be grateful" or "Don't forget to be grateful"... etc.
As I look around me I see a lot of people with a lot of stuff. Lavish amounts of everything they need – spacious homes, an innumerable variety of foods at their fingertips , outfits from gardening grubbies to night-on-the-town finery, assorted sports equipment, specialty appliances, art work, a PC in every room, and on and on. And still we generally go along, at best complacent, at worst complaining about this state of affairs, generally more aware of what we want next than appreciative of our astonishing plenty.
And I don’t mean to write a negatively about this, to suggest that we’re all ungrateful wretches and what about the starving children in [favorite Third World country]? I don’t want to advocate a step-by-step scheme you need in order to acquire Gratitude or embarrass you into grudging acknowledgment of how good you have it. The human tendency to focus on what’s “wrong” and ignore what’s just fine is as common and as natural as saying “Ouch!” when we skin our knees. Our programming points our attention at what threatens our survival, not at how beautiful it is to live. So usually it takes a real shaking up to awaken us to a different perspective. And even that change is often fleeting.
Still, it seems a shame to have all that we have and to be, in effect, missing it. And, in fact, being grateful is not a great chore - It’s greatly cheering to spend a few moments appreciating the small delights that life delivers.
I love the way my husband looks as he leaves for work in the morning; his manner and countenance.
I love to find my favorite old T-shirt clean and folded in the drawer so I can decide to wear it again.
I love the the smell of baking on my hands after kneading bread dough and creating a sugar and spice mixture for Cinammon Rolls.
I love the one long deep breath I take after a prayer.
I love uncontrollable, tight tummy, tears rolling down my face, laughter!
These moments of heart-opening don’t arise from deciding I should be Grateful. I do not recommend that you practice being Grateful. Instead I wish to whisper in your ear an admonition to be, simply, awake. Because when you’re awake to the smells, the touches, the current moment, gratitude happens by itself. It’s the rushing by that leaves us without gratitude.
I wish I could remember where I heard this quote and who said it: “The single greatest enemy to spiritual practice is hurrying.” On my recent trip, I found that the fullest days of sight-seeing were so busy that I never really experienced any of it. Those places off the beaten path where we chose to stay awhile are the ones that reached my core - My spirit. Gratitude happens when we’re here, now. Hurrying is what happens when we’re mentally already somewhere else, doing the next thing (or three things). When we hurry, when we’re feeling pressured and cranky, our focus telescopes into our own tiny brain space. We miss everything around us altogether and become preoccupied by our actions.
On the other hand, when we allow ourselves to be fully here in the present moment, awake to the blinking of eyelashes or the soap suds in the dishwater, gratitude takes care of itself. It’s all mixed up there with delight, awe, and joy. Easy. Fun. No Program required.
So attend, please. This second. Be here.
Gratitude cannot help but follow.
